Thursday, February 13, 2014

Being the better person

We are always advised to BE THE BETTER PERSON. When people put you down, be the better person. When your family or friends don't appreciate you, be the better person. When your loved one hurts you, be the better person. When someone leaves you, always be the better person. Well fcuk this, I'm tired of being the better person.

I always try to do what is right. I have been brought up that way and I am proud of my parents for teaching us to be good. But sometimes, I'm tired of being nice. I have proof of how life is so unfair and I know that it is but most of the time, I don't understand it. It's unfair. In my heart and soul, I know that I always try to be the better person. I put my pride down to be the better person. I set aside my feelings to make other people happy, especially those that I love. I don't ask for anything in return when I do good, because that is not the point of doing good. I just don't see why my life is falling apart while bad people stay happier than me. They are blessed with too much while most of my blessings were taken away from me. Is this really how the world works?

I guess so. I have been reflecting on my life these past few days and I am really on my way to the lowest point of my life. I'm getting scared but I'm trying to stay strong. I feel like I have been avoiding conflicts by being too good and not pointing out what I'm feeling. My thought of 'being a better person' is more like being a coward. So I am tired of being a coward but I won't get tired of taking the higher road.

With all these negative thoughts, I am still trying to be very hopeful for my future. There is a brighter side and I badly want to go there right now. But I have to be patient, that is all I must do right now.

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