Thursday, April 29, 2010

Hey Nathan,

Breaking up and getting back has been our thing back then. Like an on-off relationship? It's kinda hard but I got used to it so telling you 'Break na tayo' became very easy 'coz I know we'll get back together after a day or two. But I guess it was not a really good excuse to go behind my back flirting with some girl. You're hurt, I get it. You should have just told me directly.

It was our 2nd year anniversary, that day we fought and I said that we are through. I was waiting for you to patch things up but you never came. So I tried fixing up the mess I made. I tried real hard and then you said those 4 words I never expected to hear from you, "I like somebody else." It f*ckin hurts. My heart was broken into pieces I could never pick up and mend. I tried waiting until you come to your senses and then I figured waiting was becoming boring so I let go. It was very hard. A part of me will always be with you.

Then there was this guy. His name was John Lloyd. I liked him and I figured she liked me back so we started hanging out. I thought he was the one who could glue those broken pieces together but he wasn't brave enough. He was a jerk, just like you but... he's not you.

2 years after, I am still broken. I was not sure if I can trust a guy again. You kinda took away that trust. I put so much faith in you that I did not realize it was too much. I wanted to fall in love again but I just can't. It was too painful...

Then Johnny came to my life. He became the best guy friend ever! We talked a lot. We hanged out a few times. Well, I did not really like him the way I did when we were still friends. He was real nice and sweet. We did things we used to do. Then it hit me, maybe he was the one who can prove me wrong.
He said he loved me.
I said I can't.
He said he'll wait.
I said thanks and I am sorry.
We stayed real good friends. He kept on telling me he love me every single day. Well, he did tell me that... until the day that he told me he got back with his ex girlfriend.
I really thought he will save me from my miseries. I thought I was ready to love and trust again. I was about to consider him but there I was.. ALONE, feeling real stupid for making a fool out of myself again but most of all, I was hurt... again. He gave me another heartache that proved me that men are real jerks, yes like you. And now, I am hurt more than ever.

After that, I can't seem to trust again. I am too afraid. I was fooled 3 times. I needed someone. You are no where to be found. John Lloyd was gone and Johnny just used me. I leaned on my friends and they understood me. I realize that I don't really need a man because I have the greatest true friends ever in the whole world. I miss Johnny because he was a great friend. I miss you because we used to be a great couple. but sometimes, a person needs to be alone to appreciate what she have.

Now, I look back at the past and I see that you two are still together. John Lloyd has some girl and Johnny, well, she is still with her girlfriend. Then I realized I was alone for too long. I needed to open my heart again to someone who deserves it.

I moved on... from you, from Johnny and from all the heartaches. I am now ready. Maybe I just have to wait.

You were my first, maybe the last but never the less, I never regretted all the hiding. ;) You will forever be my first love and thank you for making me learn... the hard way.

PS: You are still a jerk. ;)

K. I am being dramatic because of all these OTH marathons and watching super cheesy movies LOL. Everything that is written above is a product of my imagination and emotions. THAT IS NOT MY EXPERIENCE, mkay? Well, some parts are INSPIRED by my experience and random people's experience too. This is what happens to me when boredom and cheesyness and sadness meets. :)
Oh and btw, all the names are changed. All the names are the names of my crush. Guess who na lang?haha! =))

K. Goodnight. haha! This is me being 20 and letting go. NAT. haha!

13 comments:

Zai said...

nakakaiyak :(((

You were my first, maybe the last but never the less

pahiram ako =))) PANALO :D

istepanyak said...

Haha! I cried too while writing that. LOL =))

Ay, sure. Hiramin mo anytime haha! =)) Thanks thanks.

Ish said...

parang totoo ha. hay. type kong makasulat ng ganyan pero walang guts. di ko macomprehend eh. :)))

chai.latte said...

whoa. coolness. haha! i wish i can write a chessy letter like that. :))

istepanyak said...

Ish, parang lang ;) hahaha! Kaya mo yan! I will wait for it haha.

Chai, thank you. You can, try it! haha. Lalo na pag medyo malungkot ka tas umuulan tas manood ka ng cheesy movies hahahaha!

Keiyt said...

Sobrang cheesy! ;)) What more kung totoo? Hahaha!

Tepainie said...

I knowww. Very cheezy. I read it now again at parang gusto kong idelete. HAHA! =)) that's not me HAHAHAHA!

Kwon Hyemi said...

kudos. oh my bagay sa akin mga ganitong binabasa kasi heart broken ako. lol

naku tagal ko na di nadalaw sa blog mo and woah it is great. ^^

Tepainie said...

Aww. Thank you so much dear. Nako, been there. It will be okay, HUUUG.

Awwww. thankkks.

Jamumai. :] said...

Coolness. :)) LOL. Thankyou for making me learn...the hard way. =)

Tepainie said...

Thank you so much dear :)

Maya said...

naku akala ko pa naman totoo eto :) nadala ako :)

Tepainie said...

Hahaha! Sorry to disappoint you. Pero partly true naman yan. Just pick kung ano =))