Losing people

I'm afraid of losing people in my life, especially if they have been a part of my life for years. Maybe that's the reason why death of loved ones top my list of fears. Well, thankfully, all my loved ones are still alive but I won't say I haven't lost some really close people in my life this year. This was really not my year and all the bad things just kept happening. Although I'm not really focusing on that because there have been great things that happened to me :) I just can't avoid the thought that people always leave, especially those whom you care most about.

There are people whom you look up to and you love so much, then one unfortunate event happens then everything that you learned from her just shatters into pieces. The bridge has been burned and I don't even know how to mend my feelings for you. But don't ever think that I don't love you because I still do and I will take care of you when you get old, even if you don't want to. It just hurts that every time I see you, I can clearly remember what you said and how you acted, it hurts so much.

There are also people whom you will care about so much that you're willing to do anything to work things out but it won't be enough for that person. These people would try to boost your confidence up then take them away in one snap and this will hurt so much. It would really take you down, especially your self-esteem. But all you got to do is pick the pieces up and mend it one day at a time.

Healing is a process and it doesn't happen fast. Patience is the key and just let things be. There would be darker days but remember

STRANDED

The weather for the past few days have been crazy. I, together with my brothers, sisters-in-law and nieces were victims of this typhoon but we were very lucky to have found a home. We got home from our Cebu-Bohol trip last August 20 (Tuesday) and we were welcomed by the crazy rain. We were very eager to go home because we were all tired from our early morning flight. Unfortunately we were trap because all the roads going to C5 was flooded and EDSA was not passable to all vehicles. 

Fortunately though, my brother called our client in DSWD NROC to ask if they are open and they can accommodate us until the flood subsides. We stayed there and ate cup noodles and Sky flakes for breakfast. For lunch, I went to NAIA Terminal 2 again to buy Jollibee and the line was supppeer long. There were a lot of people stranded at the airport. I lined up for more than an hour and waited for my food for another 20 minutes. When I got back to DSWD, my brother told me that we need to get going because Dinky Soliman is going there. 

At airport road (?)

When we left DSWD, we were all updating through twitter (THANKS MMDA TWITTER PERSON!!) for all the flooded areas. Unfortunately again for us, it's still flooded everywhere. We tried going to EDSA and Buendia but everywhere we go was not passable. We were planning on taking the LRT and MRT already just so we could go home and leave the car somewhere but it was very difficult for us to commute because we have 3 kids with us. But again we were very fortunate because someone adopted us for the night. We stayed at a friend's house in Paranaque and they even fed us good food (THANK YOU SO MUCH). We are very fortunate for having a place to stay and the whole night I was praying for the people who weren't very fortunate like us. 

We got home at around 9am the next day, Aug. 21. I finally had the time to take a bath (Thank God) and rested for a while. At around 4pm, we are going back to Paranaque but this time for Gawad Kalinga's relief operations. It was time to help those who weren't as fortunate as we are and even if we are all super tired from our misadventure, we still managed to help out and give our best for the least. 

Gawad Kalinga's relief ops

The relief ops finished at around 11:30pm and we got home at 12. I was so tired from the trip and relief ops but it was a good kind of fatigue :) I would really like to join the distribution of relief at Laguna the next day but unfortunately, I have work.

I am proud to be part of Gawad Kalinga that cares for the least :) I won't hesitate to give back, especially to those who needs it most.

Uninspired

I have been battling a lot of issues these past few days and I don't even know where I can get inspiration from. This is not even about my ex anymore, it's all about the family, my work and myself.

This thing about the family is emotionally draining. I just really feel so emotional about the whole issue because everyone is really trying their best to fix everything but you're the only one who's not cooperating. I just feel so depressed that you're burning a few bridges and I'm not even sure if we can build it back. This is just too much to take in especially if I'm so stressed and busy with other aspects in my life.

When I entered our family business, I was assigned in HR and there are a lot of things that need to be fixed. Then since Christmas is coming up, we need to double our sales so the board decided that I should handle sales too (together with Marketing). It's just too much to handle with my state right now. I know that I can do it, it's just that I can't do it well. I really want to do my best and excel but I'm just really uninspired right now. But with a little help from my friends, I know I can do this.

Okay, the issue with myself is so confusing that even I can't understand so let's just not talk about it.

July 2013: A month of new beginnings

July has been nothing but good to me. It reminded me of friends I haven't seen in a while (Starbucks officemates, UST blockmates), activities I haven't done in a while (dancing) and it continued to bring me closer to people I love (family, high school friends) :) I also discovered new places and activities for my life. I am very grateful for everything despite all the losses and failures. I may be knocked out a lot of times but I will continue to fight (I think people should be more like this. It's hard, I know, but you'll get the hang of it. Just believe in yourself)

What's up in July?

1. Joined Ter in her group classes in 360. I got to (sort of) dance again after 23128395293 years. 
2. Two of my brothers finally moved out of the house. Even if I don't approve of this abrupt move, I am happy for both of them. More houses to visit and hangout ;)
3. Hangouts with old office mates I haven't seen in a while at Whistlestop. It's good to be back and see my old office. I also enjoyed seeing familiar faces :)
4. Night out with UST blockmates  I haven't seen for a year at Prive. I was happy to get to talk to them as if we just saw each other yesterday. It's time to catch up with them and make future plans :) I also haven't partied after 39418724820 years so it was a very fun night.
5. New beginning for me because Gladys finally moved out of my room. We now have our own room. I am enjoying my new CLEAN room but I feel sad sometimes to be alone so I sleepover at her room (or she sleeps over at my room)
6. A trip back to our hometown at San Pablo, Laguna. This was a weekend of just hanging out with brothers and cousins. We also discovered new restaurants at San Pablo. The short tour was full of new discoveries at an old place we all sort of grew up in.
7. New activity: SHOOTING. Since I have time and I dug up my 30before30 list, I am starting to finish it. Firing a gun was part of my list and I finally did it last July. OMG, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM. All my hate and irritation in my life was released there. It was therapeutic haha! 
8. We surprised Rhea during her birthday at Vikings. Another hangout with old friends that I will forever love :) 
9. Gawad Kalinga will forever be in my heart and blood so I attended the Bayanijam last month to support my brother and watch different musicians from Gawad Kalinga communities. GK will always inspire me. Rivermaya played that night together with the kids from GK communities. Thank you so much Rivermaya for giving them that opportunity to jam with you. There will be another Bayanijam this August so message me if you wanna go. I swear, your 150 is worth it :)

So that's it for July. There are more hangouts in between but these are just some of the highlights. Thank you July for giving me a new beginning in life. Hoping I could be a better person and leave all the negative vibes in the past :)

A trip to our hometown, San Pablo, Laguna

(Delayed post)

Two weeks ago, we went to San Pablo, Laguna for my godson's birthday/dedication. It was a very intimate family affair. It was actually a kid's affair since it was Kaden's birthday. There were games and magic show that the kids enjoyed. Before the event, my little nieces and nephew had a few photo ops

Diwa posing with the backdrop

Zach, Kaden, Sining and Diwa

Sining and Diwa with their costume. Zach, naked :| HAHA

 Then the program started at around 4. After the dedication, Sining went berserk and was looking for her mommy and daddy. So I was the one who distracted her and played with her. We missed all the games and shows because we stayed inside the room because she doesn't want to interact with other kids haha!

The celebrant with their parents

 It was a fun event. After the party, my cousins and brothers just drank beer and I joined their conversation. It was a very "grrrr" kind of conversation. Yes, I decide that this should all stop. Now is the time that I should get mad and be ruthless (NOT). I don't want to expound on this because it's a family thing so yes. Leaving it this way.

The next day, we toured around San Pablo. I have stayed a few summer here when I was a child. I even had my first swimming lessons in this city. We decided to bring the kids to Sampaloc Lake and eat mami (my favorite) for breakfast.

Tatay Mark and Diwa

We drove around the circumference of Sampaloc Lake and we discovered a new place to dine. We found a place named Cafe Lago. The outside was very different from it's interior. It was a very cozy place for breakfast. We just tried their Suman Latik because we ate breakfast already. Although Ate Trina ate tapsilog and she said, it was normal. Nothing extraordinary but we still loved it because of the interior. The price was also reasonable so I recommend this for a date with family or even your special someone.

 They even have a rattan made hammock which we all enjoyed (except Diwa haha).

Ate Trina, Blu, Kuya Justine and me

We stayed there for a good 2 hours then we moved to Kusina Salud, a restaurant owned by the Tesoro's. The restaurant is located beside a small garden where there are different kind of birds and plants.

The kids enjoyed looking at birds (Shocks, that sounds so wrong.). Anyway, since we were full from the mami breakfast and dessert from Cafe Lago, we just had ensaladang pako, their best seller turon and pandan juice. 

I wouldn't say that the food was cheap because it wasn't. Just a little tip for those who will eat here in the future, the prices in their menu is tax exclusive so yes, that's not really the final price. We really got surprised to see our bill haha! Good thing we enjoyed each other's company. Next time we'll go back here, we'll order wisely.

Hi baby girl, I love you :)

We went back to my Tita's resort with a full stomach and empty pockets haha! But we enjoyed our little tour around our hometown, San Pablo City.

Next up, 7 lakes tour :) Someday. We have been visiting this city and we never visited all the 7 lakes. Boo.