Last exam for Developmental Psychology is tomorrow, which I think I will be failing again LOL, and I was reviewing for this exam since yesterday. I started reading from Adolescence to Late Adulthood and then death. While reading, I started to think about my life: what has been, what is happening and what will be in the future.
I may have the biggest family in the world lol. but I still love them and I am so thankful for having them. Last Monday, we had a family dinner. It was an advance birthday celebration of my mom since Kuya Justine will be in Palawan for two weeks. My mom wanted to celebrate her birthday with all of her children present so we celebrated it before Kuya Justine left. It was times like this that I miss so much. SRSLY, when your brothers get married, life will be so so so different. I seldom see them even if they just live nearby. Their priorities are different now so do not bug them when they are busy lol. I just miss everything and everyone.
I am also thankful with all the friends I met and have with me right now. I know I have the best-est friends in the world. My HS friends where I can be my craziest. My college friends who stays with me every day when I am sabaw and sabog. My YFC peeps who I can run to if I want to tambay or just want someone to talk to. I may not be the best-est friend a person may ever have but I know that I can be a good friend who won't stab you in the back. Every moment with my friends will forever be cherished and remembered. ♥
A month and a day from now, I will be turning 20. Yes, I have been living for 2 decades already and boy, do I feel old. :| I am in college, I have friends, I love my family and I think I am sure of who I am. I go with the flow, try out new things, tries to set my priorities straight and go out with my friends a lot. I am happy... Well not really super happy but I am sort of contented with what I have and who I have. Although some parts are missing and I have regrets from the past, I still love my life and I will continue to love it till I die.
So this is my life now. This is what I have and who I have. Am I happy? YES. VERY. This is now, but DevPsy made me think what about tomorrow or 5 years from now? When I reach adulthood, will I be this happy? A part of me is scared of what will happen. What if I became alone and single for the rest of my life? Then I won't get through Erikson's Intimacy vs Isolation stage lol. Or what if I get married but is unhappy, will I go for a separated life with my husband? Or or or, how about my children? How many will I have or will I even have some? GRABE. :| All this thinking makes me crazy lol!
When I reach late adulthood (or if I reach late adulthood), will I be widower or will I get my dream of growing old with the one I love? (ok, that sounded really cheesy haha)
But anyways, life has so much to offer to me and I realized that I should grab every opportunity I am faced with so that I can maximize my time here on earth. So I think I should now stop thinking about all this shiznit and should start focusing on studying again haha!
K, 1 day before all this stress ends. I am just excited so yes, I will stop thinking about the future and just live and enjoy with my present. YEHEY.