Mixed Emotion

I am feeling confused right now. or lost. i dunno. Kaya nga mixed emotion eh. Ano ba, tepai! haha. Anyways, i dunno what to do. I dunno who to text. I dunno what to write. LOL.

I was playing with Sining a while ago when i felt this. Parang bigla akong na-depress. I really do not like this feeling because i do not know what the reason/s is/are. Oh well. I was thinking it's because of
(a.) the whole chapter thing
(b.) my birthday
(c.) school. :D
(d.) sakin na lang ito. HAHAHA.

Okay. The whole chapter thing really makes me sad since ILC pa. I think i haven't done anything for the chapter ever since i became the chapter head. People became inactive, some moved to other chapter/service and the others are too old so they cross-over(ed) haha. Plus, the split thing made everything more difficult to handle. Really. Haay. I want everything back. The old times. Being a leader is really really a blessing for me but i think i am not good at it. My brothers are.. not me. Anjo and I were texting a while ago about this meeting tomorrow. Sabi niya, text brigade. I did, tas walang nagrereply. It really feels awful. I really hate it when we call for meetings then nobody shows. I miss the old times when everybody is active. Waaa. Anyways, i am still praying for everything. Basta basta basta. Pawe, let us talk. haha.

My birthday. I was looking at people's multiply accounts and most of them have this album of their debuts and other debuts. I really doubt that i will celebrate mine. There's like what.. 12 more days left and there's only one thing that's prepared.. the guest list. I doubt. Plus, we are really broke right now so i do not want to add up to the expenses in our house. I was thinking of joining the Bayani Challenge. I think, its better to help than to stay at home and regret everything. Waaaa. Whatever, right now.. i do not even want to think about it.

Okay, i do not want to rant about letter c and d. It's confidential. Hahahaha.
*NOTE for (c.).. I did not fail any subjects. Hahaha. Its not about the grades. LOL.
Ayun.

Grabe, I really am depressed right now. HAHA. .. coz i talked to someone i would not name because he or his gf might read this and ayun, awayin na naman ako.. LOL. That is how desperate i am to have someone to talk to. Yes! haha. Its not you Kuya Eugene. :D Lol.

I feel better now. Haay, can't sleep. Tsk3x.